Monday, October 30, 2006

Keeps It Real, Captain Old-School


Fuck you, real-keeper. You, I think, are part of the problem.
REAL is boring.
REAL is what you were told it was, even though REAL doesn't even fucking exist.


Keep the traditions of a planet full of monkeys who decided to quit evolving and stick their heads up their ass REAL?

Tradition, as has been said in the past, is the root of all evil.
Stop telling each other to continue to live uninspired, boring lives.
Quit shunning the ones who made up a different way to do things.

In hip-hop, your proof of your OLD-SCHOOL credentials are twice as important as your talent.
Things that are new have no weight next to things that are TRIED & TRUE.
OLD-SCHOOL was a long fucking time ago...

And who's perception of OLD-SCHOOL are we talking about, anyway?
I remember riding my bike around listening to Neucleus on a one-speakered jambox.

what if i was 20?
Would Tupac be considered OLD-SCHOOL?

Shit...N.W.A. is way OLD-SCHOOL now.
I remember when that shit came out. I was rolled in that wave that took all the white teenage boys in '90-'91 and made 'em wanna talk like black dudes.
I ain't saying N.W.A. was the first group that ever inspired chump-ass white kids to act's just that 17-year-olds are impressionable.
I'm sure someone much older than me could say the same thing about Sly & The Family Stone.
The thing is, Sly was copied & imitated to the point when no one could even remember where the shit came from.

...and N.W.A.?
As much as I loved that bullshit, look at the fucking arc it sent hip-hop music into.
Nobody took the torch and moved forward. They proved what would sell and everybody just straight kept talking more and more shit till it devolved into what it is now.
Boring fucking nursery rhymes about money you ain't got and bitches you never fucked, lame ass R&B hooks and stupid cunts "singing" about their humps.

If you can't dance, you are no longer welcome to the rap game.
I'm not even gonna go into the "game" part.
Fuck you.
I don't wanna play.
I wanna make my Doomsday shit and carry on about the Poxyclypse and evolution and Godzilla and shit, you know?
I don't care if you do, really.

Boring is SO acceptable, that it equals REAL.
I hereby swear to never, ever KEEP IT REAL, ever again.
Fuck you, hip-hop purists.

I'm pointing at you, but the same goes for most genres of music.

Punk...REAL punk (hahahaha) is as closed-minded a social scene as country.
You can't shop angst at the kids anymore cause they've already been absorbed into the collective conscious of whoever sold them their haircuts.

The only PUNK angst left is heartbreak...a fucking 70's classic rock staple.
If Johnny Rotten still gave a fuck about you, he'd piss in your face.
God Save Johnny Rotten.
He laughs at your "punk".

aaaahhhhh, argue my point FOR me, dipshit.
The best new metal I've heard in forever is Trashlight Vision, and that's just cause they're so fucking OLD-SCHOOL PUNK ROCK!!

Oh, and, of course, Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, who I hesitate to even label as METAL.
Everybody else...take what I said about the punk kids, readjust the accompanying fashion trend, and apply it to yourself.

OR SATAN!! (who's been sadly missing from the music world in any type of FUN capacity for a long time. those fags in the corpse-paint officially killed the devil)

I'm bored fucking shitless of all your hip-hop and your punkrock and your metal and blah,blah,blah...
there's no EDGE left.

You can sing whisper-quiet love songs and still give them an edge.
It's not fucking hard (or maybe it's harder than I give it credit).

STOP trying to KEEP IT REAL!!

STOP trying to prove how OLD-SCHOOL you are!!

ADMIT that you have been the victim of ongoing mind-control since Saturday Morning Cartoons and have a fuck-of-alot of work to do as far as rethinking what REAL is and what someone you have never met, and just wants to sell you numbness, told you was REAL.

I gotta go back to work now so I can have enough cash for the secret JAY Z album that he lied about not making.

peace...or the extreme lack there-of,