Wednesday, August 24, 2005

My Earliest Memory

After much soul-searching and a little sodium-pentathol, I've come to realize that my earliest memory is:
of me running in my front yard, looking down at my feet to try to detect the elevated speed that I MUST be achieving through my cool first-pair-of-tennis-shoes. I have no idea what age I was, but that pretty much jumps up in front of everything else when I try digging deep. What a fucking rip-off. The only reason I was even so captivated by the idea of cool shoes that made me run faster and jump higher was cause I had monkey feet (flat) and had to wear these Goddamn 200-pound hiking boots that were gonna somehow "correct" my arches...shit, I probably COULD run faster and jump higher just from having those weights off like in the Shaolin training scenes on the old kung-fu movies. I musta looked like the fat Forrest Gump running, head down across the yard, little to no emotion showing, while I studied my new dexterity.
that's all...
I was a funny looking kid...
...and they quit making cool shoes a long time ago.

wz3d

Thursday, August 4, 2005

In Which wz3d Finally Makes His Point... And How!

There's a point to this, but i'm not sure at what point it'll present itself, so let's have this adventure together...no?
I just got finished watching GODZILLA: FINAL WARS on the computer. I've never had the urge to watch a 2 hour movie on this computer, but there i was, sitting on the floor, leaned up between the back of the couch and the side of the trashcan, watching the FUCK out of a totally Japanese movie (the illegal download didn't even have subtitles) with a big grin, like i know what's going on.
 It's not the big, more serious, kinda grandiose epics that the rest of the millenium G's have been, but you can tell Ryuhei Kitamura's having the time of his life blowing shit up and creating the most kinetic, action-packed movie since...
VERSUS...another movie HE made (none of this has much to do with the point i'm hoping to eventually make here. i just get REALLY inspired and pompous when talking about G or just good movies in general. stay with me here).
I pretty much fit the bones of the story together and one of the main characters is an older, uber-hardcore American badass (English speaking Glenn Frey) kinda John Wayne dude with some cool one-liners and shit, so he clears up some of the shadowy corners in the plot for me when he's on the screen (he's like my Willy Wonka tourguide guy). The action is frantic and imaginative (the usual for Kitamura) and MOST of the music (i really hated the weak-ass Sum 41 screaming song right in the middle...thankfully, it lasted only a couple seconds...also, i'm a big fan of the recent G scores cause they're all big, gigantic orchestral bombardments that sound like they're proclaiming the return of the lord or something.) is really cool and pulsing, just different for the current series...in fact the whole style seems to rebelliously throw itself back to the 60's/70's Godzilla films, which were really inventive plotwise, but just so damned aimed at kiddies.
There are definitely a few cutesy moments, but everything else is so insanely non-stop that they're real easy to swallow (again...i'm going on about the movie and that's not what i wanted to talk about.).
Awesome movie...whatever...
I just watched an illegally downloaded movie that is CURRENTLY playing in theaters. I'm now the guy that ad at the beginning of Steven Spielberg's new movie warned you not to be.
I'M A PIRATE!!!!!!!
Did you even KNOW that GODZILLA:FINAL WARS was playing in America right now? ...that it had already played in Japan?
This is a big, loud, obnoxious, clever special-effects-movie. At least every 10 minutes, something is happening on the screen that you've never seen before.
THE WHOLE WORLD IS DEMOLISHED IN A WAR BETWEEN HUMAN & MONSTERS,
HUMAN & ALIENS,
GODZILLA & OTHER MONSTERS,
GODZILLA & ALIENS,
HUMANS & GODZILLA.
That fucking wack-ass Roland Emmerich JURRASIC PARK rip-off iguana-thing even shows up in Australia and the real G fucks him up in less than 20 seconds.
I fucking robbed it right off the net. $8 that won't be in the seat tonight. FUCK YOU, TOHO STUDIOS. I'm part of an epidemic.
...funny thing is...
I WOULDA PAID GODDAMN $20 TO SEE IT AT A THEATER IF I HAD THE CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I been waiting on this shit since i first read about it. I been fucking foaming at the mouth over it. I'm gonna buy the DVD when it is released, but the thing is...
I WANTED TO SEE IT ON THE BIG SCREEN!!!!!!
I love movies, asshole. Alot. This is the kinda movie i wanna watch at IMAX...not on these crappy little speakers. Not leaning on a trashcan. Not on the floor, fuck you very much...

(can i pull it together? can i wrap this bullshit up in a way that makes sense NOW?...or do i keep hunting&pecking like Stephen Hawking on speed for 2 more hours and end up with nothing but a vivid explanation of why my PARTICULAR trashcan probably sucks to lean on more than yours?)

I hate that America (in general) doesn't reguard film as art, but more of a commercial procession. Studios purposely play matchmaker to famous actors just to give EXTRA & ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT some pre-buzz fluff before it's announced that they've broken up but have completed a romantic comedy together
(hold on, Wyble...you goin way over there...).

I love digging for the things that i love but i hate that i'm FORCED to dig for the things i love.
How many people in this country are still actually functioning as completely independant human beings? I feel more and more claustrophobic in the midst of this single-wavelength Borg-colony...like one day, i'm gonna run into the last person that i KNOW is really human and he/she is just gonna stare blankly, point at me and let out that horrible scream like on INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS.
(reeeel it in...rrreeeeeeeeel it innnnn...)

I just miss when everybody liked different things and it was ok...
and when all the theaters weren't owned by the same people who made the movies...
and all the people who made the movies weren't the same people who owned the radio stations, T.V stations, record companies...etc.
John Carpenter is the new Nostrodamas because of the movie, THEY LIVE. 
there...
that's my damn point...
piss off.